Don't look down!

I post here today with many failures under my belt. I have had more reboots than I can count (or care to). I even considered making the blog private today just so I wouldn't have to look at them (my failures - all laid out in chronological order) again. But the mantra I shall chant instead is Don't Look Down.

This journey to weight loss or rather a healthier, happier, more active me has taken more than 3 years officially. I have seen myself at my best, at my worst and my absolute bottom. I have seen the success of friends, felt pangs of jealousy, shame and rage because it hasn't happened for me.  I reboot yet again at very near the original weight I started at and felt as though I worked for 3 years with nothing to show but dusty equipment, a broken heart and little to no will power. And yet, here I am again. Doing this again.

That counts for something, right?

Alas, failure is an option and one I shall learn from again and again.

So, once again, I will put my plan for 2012 - I look forward to pushing past failure.

Current stance

Weight: 265+
BMI: 37.3
Body Fat: 45.1%
Resolve: Strong but shaky

Short term goals (under 3 months)
Get under 250 lbs permanently by Carnival 2012 (February 20th)


30 day plan starting Dec 27th
1) Finish Jillian Michael's Ripped in 30 workout
2) Track everything I eat and drink
3) Drink 6 (32oz) bottles of water daily
4) Work out at least 6 times per week
5) Do it on a budget.


Potential hurdles:
1) Wisdom tooth surgery: Will not be able to eat solid food for a week. Need to find low calorie/ low fat slurpy foods and not give in to the overwhelming urge to eat ice cream for every meal.

2) My day job - long erratic hours that often require me to eat all meals at the office so planning ahead in case of emergency is necessary. 

3) Cravings > willpower - I often have an uncanny craving for sweet after lunch. This can manifest itself in brownie, cookie, chocolate bar or Wendy's apple pie immediately after mid-day's meal. Will need to counteract with healthy snack options that are ready at hand and limited cash.

4) Boredom + Lack of healthy options = Disaster.


And... we're off!