The Quest for a Collarbone

The smallest I ever remember being in my adult life is 238 lbs.

That was immediately after the breakup of the (formerly) longest relationship I had ever been in. But it wasn't post-breakup blues that caused my weight loss. It was a 2 week flu with fever followed by a binge on diet pills to blame. Pills banned in the U.S. and several other countries I might add.

Not exactly the healthiest I've ever been.

Though, even at 238 lbs, I still couldn't tell you what my collarbone looked like.

 Before one fateful conversation between a friend enemy grudging acquaintance and I,  I had never even noticed that I couldn't see it until the subject had been breached quite unexpectedly. She had been boasting of losing weight and said she could finally see her collarbone.  At home, some time later, I looked for my own protruding bone and saw nothing but a rising plane from my neck to my bust.  Since then, secretly, I could think of nothing else.

Today, I stand at a half-inch shy of 6 feet high and 265 lbs wide. My collarbone is buried as deep as it ever has been.

Strangely enough, this isn't borne out of vanity (I hope). I don't want to be skinny, I don't need to be slim and probably will never be. My ultimate aim is a fit, healthy body that's well-taken care of. However, I'd be lying if I said I loved my back fat and I could do without the back, knee and ankle pain I bear on a daily basis. As for my collarbone, I just want to see what it looks like.


So, there it is. My quirks, laid out on the table. This is my attempt at my final "I'm back" post. And, as my tired arms ache from over-doing it at the gym, I'm smiling at the possibilities more than 2 years since my first post. No plan, no quantitative progress but a whole new mindset and a shit-load of persistence.   100 lbs in 365 days my ass!

Oh, you can follow me over at fitocracy if you wish.